Need I say more? #wakeup #buyorganic 🌿🍃
I attempted to exercise but I ended up takin body shots oops
Why do people drink alcohol it tastes disgusting
you don’t drink it for the taste. u drink shit like apple juice for the taste. you drink alcohol to get rid of the bad taste that every awful person in your life has left
My faith in pizza guys has gone up 123%
NO LET ME TELL YOU A STORY
So a few weeks ago I was in a hotel in Savannah with my grampa in the hospital next door, Mom was over staying with him, and the battery in the smoke detector went out so every 5 minutes it would let off this loud, high pitched ‘CHIRP’.
It was annoying as fuck, so I called the front desk to see if they had a battery for it, and they said the only thing they could do was change rooms. We’d already settled in for the night, and needed the next door rooms for my uncles the next day, so I said I’d deal. My uncles had my car in the next town over, so I couldn’t drive and get one myself.
An hour later, I’m ordering pizza and have gone insane because the damn thing CHIRPS. SO. MUCH.
So I begged the pizza guy on the phone to stop and get me a battery, told him I’d pay for the battery, and give him an extra tip for it, and he was chill with it. This adorable fucker gets to my room with the battery, opens it, asks to see the smoke detector, CLIMBS ON THE BED, CHANGES THE BATTERY FOR ME, and tests it.
My pizza was only 20 dollars, but I gave him 40 and told him to keep the change.
I am clearly not fully utilizing my pizza delivery person…..
What’s next pizza delivery hitmen
My pizza delivery man refuses to draw a fucking dinosaur on my box, no tip for you bitch
everywhere is a bed if you try hard enough
really in the mood for receiving $50,000,000
And yet the guy in blue stripes is ready to fight with no fear in his eyes
"Conceal don’t feel"
Just a little reminder that
1. You need to eat
2. You’re allowed to eat
3. You’re a beautiful bad ass with all the sass
Now rock the fuck on you cute lil pumpkin warrior
Drink hella water, eat hella fruit
THIS IS SO IMPORTANT
THE MEDIA NEVER SHOWS THIS SIDE OF KANYE
will you still love me when i no longer ball so fuckin hard
jim fucking carrey
jim fucking carrey
I love Jim Carrey. I once met him in a 7/11, and I was getting a soda, I turned and saw it was him, and he saw I was going for a Doctor Pepper, so he said “Oh did you want one of these”, to which I stuttered out a yes and he grabbed all of them and said “too bad” and brought them up to the front. Then he bought his stuff and left the sodas there, and left. Almost immediately after, he ran back in and began putting the sodas back and paid for mine.This is what happens when Candians are let lose and try to prank people
My brother met this guy. He works for the government and apparently Jim Carrey has some sort of charity or something. I’m vague on the details but my brother said he was really nice.